QUESTION: One of my colleagues is bullying me and our manager listens to him more than to me.
REALTY: You are subject to bullying because of your lack of self-confidence.
I have been recently assigned to a team. Before joining the company, I was told that it has a flat organization. To my surprise, I found one of my co-workers bullying me and acting as a coordinator between me and my Tanager. It was never communicated that he had a special role. When I checked with others, they, too, have had a similar experience. They advised me not to take up the issue with the manager as nothing substantial or actionable would come out, complained an employee to his mentor.
The best way to handle such a situation is to talk to the ‘bully’ directly and understand his perspective. He may have better subject-matter skill and he may be well recognized in the company. He could be a ‘go-getter’, and the management is appreciative of his aggression in getting things done quickly. His communication style might be abrasive, leading to this issue.
It would be better to concentrate on the message than on the way it is delivered. It is always good to develop a good working relationship with such a person. so that one can get The required help in an hour of peed. \put things become complicated if the employee who is being bullied has no respect for the one who is doing the bullying; because he thinks the ‘bully’ has no subject-matter expertise and no -soft skills to speak of. Even so, it is best to discuss the matter with the person who’s making your life difficult.
Despite the discussion, if you are fully convinced that things won’t work out, then you should go to the manager and explain matters to him clearly, citing specific examples of slight; you should also ask for a three-way meeting to sort out the matter. This would mean that you have confidence in your own abilities and have approached the manager only after taking the necessary steps to improve the relationship. As for the manager, he should call for a meeting with all the parties concerned and provide an environment where all can air their grievances and get them sorted out amicably. This can take place through coaching, proper work distribution, or with some team-building activities. The manager should provide one-on-one feedback to support better team work; he should also monitor the situation by frequent interactions with individuals or with smaller teams till the matter is resolved.
Sometimes, it is a misunderstanding, misinterpretation or a cultural perspective that can lead to this issue, So, holding meetings to sort out the problem can set down some basic rules of engagement. This will not only help the aggrieved employee, but also the ‘bully’ as the latter might be feeling handicapped due to lack of clear communication from his manager on his specific role of coordination.
WHAT CAN YOU DO AS THE EMPLOYEE? If you are in doubt about the role and responsibility of any team member, it is better to talk to your manager and seek clarification. And even though your manager might make it clear, there could still be occasions where you have to interact on a common issue with the rbuily. You, too, can have the upper hand if you have a better grasp of a subject and more confidence in dealing with its complexities. As you start demonstrating these skills, you will be heard and respected in the team, and a time might even come when your colleague lodges a similar complaint against you!
WHAT CAN YOU DO AS THE MANAGER? in case you plan to assign additional responsibility to a member of the team, you need to explain to all concerned their own roles and responsibilities. Such complaints usually come up when the manager is the type and the team members sense a distance between themselves and the manager. An open and interactive work environment with responsibilities clearly laid out will reduce the frequency of such occurrences.
